Comments for Skydrop Gunshot

Comment on Holy Rites: Part 16 by Rondon

Rondon — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 17:31:51 +0000

The second to last paragraph is just a bit jumbled. Maybe split the second sentence into two? On another note, I’ve found myself referencing your story in my brain like its just another piece of literature that I’m reading. I think thats a good thing.

Comment on Interlude by Chedori

Chedori — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 00:32:02 +0000

I’ve loved the story so far! I can’t wait to read more.

Comment on Holy Rites: Part 15 by Rondon

Rondon — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 16:11:47 +0000

I like this, and I like Viola. She isn’t very raving yet, though. Hopefully you can tune up the hunter scene enough to keep this part of your story.

Comment on Holy Rites: Part 13 by Nicholas Woodard

Nicholas Woodard — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 21:21:03 +0000

Your not far off. I was having trouble getting this to work, but was awful tired at the time, and Im unhappy with the result.

Something to fix when I compile it, for sure.

Comment on Holy Rites: Part 13 by Rondon

Rondon — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 19:59:29 +0000

I like where you are going, but the last three paragraphs are tough reading. Broken flow, maybe. I’m seeing the scene in my minds eye, but Gumby and the hunter are a fuzzy mashup.

Comment on Holy Rites: Part 10 by Chedori

Chedori — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 20:38:25 +0000

Nice intro to LaCoy…my type of woman! haha. I like her reflexes and the way she doesn’t make exceptions…seems anyone who crosses her will pay!

Comment on Holy Rites: Part 9 by Chedori

Chedori — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 20:29:47 +0000

good to hear a little of the cities history! I like the idea of a grand idea gone wrong, and everyone forced to deal with it and try to life normally.

Comment on Holy Rites: Part 6 by Chedori

Chedori — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 20:16:28 +0000

Interesting to here that our Hero’s have a ‘human’ side to them as well. They love to eat and lounge around, like the rest of us! I also like the idea that Gumby’s personality and mood about the whole thing changes due to the great food and hospitality from Rexford and Saul

Comment on Holy Rites: Part 2 by Rondon

Rondon — Sun, 22 Mar 2009 19:42:00 +0000

Hey, I love the Gumby introduction, but you shouldn’t tell us that he isn’t proud of himself. You have already shown us, later on, and it is better that way.

Comment on Holy Rites: Part 2 by tenshikerri

tenshikerri — Sat, 21 Mar 2009 04:10:03 +0000

The descriptions are so vivid. I wish I was more articulate with my praise, but all my mental faculties have been spent for the night. I think I need to come back tomorrow with a fresher perspective…I will give you better commentary then.